I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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