Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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