yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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