Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
