I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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