i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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