Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Old men and throwing up are my life now.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

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(904): View more from Florida

You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again

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(714): View more from California

I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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(347): View more from New York

When are you not under some influence?

(917): View more from New York City

Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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(518): View more from New York

You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"

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(214): View more from Texas

It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now

(469): View more from Texas

You should go after Dad now

(214): View more from Texas

I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable

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