It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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