i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
