Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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