is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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