I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
