No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
