I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
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That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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