Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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