Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
