i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
