I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
