im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize