Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
