I want to have your abortion
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
