This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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