As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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