You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize