I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
