Already got asked if we're dating
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
