I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
