Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
