College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
