Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dicks are not precious.
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