I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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