i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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