Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
