i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
