scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
