Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
