I want to make a zoo with you.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
