Please, let me fuck your mom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
