how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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