Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
