i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
