I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
