god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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