Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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