Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
