That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
