Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
