Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
