you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
