I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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