brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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