i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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