Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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