the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This girl is more easily done than said...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
