if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
