She is in my trunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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