no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
