i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
