So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She bit a glass in half.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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