you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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