i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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