why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
