all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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