He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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